June Date #2
Indiana's Date #2
Key Takeaways: This shit is tiring.
Name: John — because most of our date was talking about music and we connected over Father John Misty!
Length of date: 2 hours
How the date was obtained: Tinder
Where: Ladyface Brewery & Tifa Gelato
Okay, date #2 let's do this thing. Met John on Tinder, he seemed funny and quirky. Tinder scares me a bit because I feel like most people are there for hook-ups, and frankly I'm too emotionally vulnerable and inexperienced for that. But this guy seemed like he wanted to get to know me better rather than just use me for my beautiful, sexy body, so why not? We had a nice lil chat on the app and he suggested we get drinks. That made me feel like an adult—love it, let's go! We met at Ladyface Brewery in Agoura Hills. Now, the date wasn't awful, but something was a bit off from the very beginning. First things first, when we entered the bar, I suggested we sit on "that wooden thing." He replied in a clever, smart-guy tone, "Um, the bench?" This got me more upset than it maybe should have, but I just can't stand a "no-but"-er. John was a bad scene partner. Additionally, he was missing three fingers on his left hand—information that was not included in his profile. I found out after going in for my signature "limp knucks" (a relaxed first bump) when John replied, "Well, I wasn't sure when to bring this up, but I guess this is a good time." Nothing wrong with that my guy, it just caught me off guard. Also, when WERE you going to bring it up? Did he have a pre-planned introduction that I fucked up? The date itself consisted of Moscow Mules and a passionate discussion about our favorite musical artists, of which there were many overlaps. The conversation was nice, but it soon felt like John was just showing off... as if we were competing for the best Spotify playlist. He can win that, I don't care. I got tired of the talk pretty quickly. Eventually, we split the bill and headed over to Tifa for gelato. We sat outside, talked more about music, but truthfully, I had checked out after paying the bill at Ladyface. After finishing my mint chocolate gelato, I mentioned to John that I should probably get home. He walked me to my car, lingered for a bit, and went for it, "Are you a 'kiss-on-the-first-date' type of girl?" I replied, "No, sorry." He said, "No worries. Can I give you a hug goodbye?" Hell, why not? Unfortunately, John's embrace was a bit too long and intense for my liking; I don't think anyone should have their back rubbed by a near stranger in an ice cream shop parking lot. Furthermore, I don't know if he was smelling my hair, but he definitely gave off that vibe. But whatever, maybe the guy just needed human contact ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. It's been a hard year for us all. I felt really awkward when I got home from the date, but I decided to turn this experience into a "Girl Boss" moment by messaging him shortly after the date to let him know I was not interested. He said that the feelings were mutual! Phew. Felt like that could have gone a lot worse.
The future for us… I am very interested in not seeing John again.
Next Week: I know it's just been two dates, but men are kind of exhausting. Could really use a nice picnic date in the park with a fairy goddess who'll braid my hair. If anyone knows some single adorable women who love to laugh and craft, give me a call. In the meantime, I'll keep looking through dating sites.