Quantity over quality
It sounds counterintuitive, but one of the most important aspects of dating every week, is well… dating every week. Or at least getting those date reps in. Of course, you want to go out with Mr./Ms. Right, but you also want to go out in general – it will make you more confident. The Date-a-Week philosophy is about being intentional and committed to meeting the right person. That’s not to say that your objective is to mow through people and rack up a date count. No, no, no. One criticism about dating apps, and dating in general, is that some people are in it for ego gratification. They go on a date and just move on to the next person, confident the "grass is greener.” Before Date-a-Week, I thought it was fun to get virtual attention on dating apps without even going on a date. I was, how shall I say…CHICKEN! Low risk, low reward. Please do yourself a favor and look at every date as serious possibility for a meaningful connection. Bring your sense of humor, stay receptive, listen, and give every person a chance.
- Tell people you’ve decided to plan a Date a Week
One helpful tip for finding dates is to tell friends and family that you’ve set a goal to go on a date every week. Many people have secret admirers. When you mention you’re dating every week, it invites those people to come forward. It also makes them feel like they are helping you accomplish your goal. You can use dating apps, but also tell your friends and family because they may want to set you up! Just go for it. And if you have a week or two without a date, don’t worry about it. Schedule one the next time it works.
Do what you can to limit anxiety
First dates, especially blind dates, can be anxiety producing. Try to do things to reduce stress in advance. Exercise can calm your nerves, so maybe workout, but leave time for a shower. Pick out an outfit the night before to make sure you have something clean to wear. I also leave plenty of time to get to the meeting spot. I know this is kind of a given, but if you’re hurrying, you’ll be stressed. You want to make a good first impression and everyone knows that being late doesn’t help with that either. (Being fashionably late isn’t a thing, unless you’re Anna Wintour - you’re not, so that’s a no.) Keep dates on the casual side, they can be informal and inexpensive, you can grab a cup of coffee, go for a walk, have a drink outside, or go on a virtual date. More casual can be less stressful.
Be yourself (so cliché I know, but read on)
One of the best things about dating every week is that it lowers the stakes for each individual date. If it doesn’t work out, you’ll have another next week. Just be yourself and don’t worry about it. Look for an evolved person who appreciates that you’re unique. And who wants to date a judgmental person anyway? If someone you date doesn’t like you, or you don’t jive with them, no worries. Look on the bright side, even if there’s no spark, you'll have met someone new and gotten out of your house; being proactive is always good. Also, P.S. No ghosting. Use the golden rule on this one. Be honest, and respectful of other people and their feelings. Display the qualities you’d like to see in a prospective partner and you’ll never regret it.
Does the idea of dating every week feel daunting? Hey, you’re part of this community, and we’re going to support each other! Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org or DM me on instagram (date_a_week). We’re creating a FAQ section. Or are you already going on a Date-a-Week? Good for you, BTW! Contribute to our community blog! And be sure to subscribe to our weekly email!
Dating during Covid
This is the time when open honest communication is the key. You might want to start with a virtual date. When you meet up, research the safety procedures of the location, then observe best practices. Early on it’s important to have “the Covid talk.” Learn about your prospective partner’s approach to Covid safety. That means finding out if their job requires travel or being around a lot of other people. Do they go to restaurants, bars or other public spaces? Whom do they live with and who’s in their bubble? What risks do those people pose? Do they, or any important people in their lives, have preexisting conditions or health risks to keep in mind? Based on what you learn you can assess how risky it is to date a specific person. This conversation is also a good chance to find out how a prospective partner treats other people. Are they thoughtful and responsible? The way they share their Covid safety practices will tell you a lot about them.
Tell a friend or family member your plans before you head out the door. Think about doing a google search on the person you’re meeting to make sure there are no red flags. Always drive yourself to your dates. Or if you don’t have a vehicle, you can use Uber/Lyft or you can make an entrance and bike or rollerblade. For safety, you want to be able to get yourself home and not rely on anyone else. Also, until you know someone, there’s no reason for them to learn where you live. I always suggest first dates take place in public places like parks/restaurants/bars/coffee shops/ice cream shops (if you’re not lactose intolerant). Stay in public places, because being alone with a stranger is risky. Don’t leave your drink unattended or drink too much; keep your wits about you. Don’t overshare personal details at first. Finally, carry mace/pepper spray. You probably won’t need this, but it never hurts to be prepared.
Tips for your Dating Profile (for dating apps)
Put your best foot forward
Use pictures taken when you’re actually happy and smiling for real. Don’t over edit because the person you’re meeting will be turned off if you don’t look like your picture. Also, on some dating apps, you can add your height, your religion, your career. It’s super important to be truthful about those things. If you say 6’2”, but you’re really 5’8”, a girl will notice the difference. So, be yourself and the right person will love all 5’8” of you.
Profile tips for Women:
Always have the first picture on your profile be a single shot of you without sunglasses
You don’t want people to be guessing who you are. Sunglasses block your eyes and those are the window to the soul. You can definitely add a sunglasses pic, just don’t have it be the first one.
Beware of the bikini
If you post a bikini pic, know that some people are just want to hook up with you. Again, there’s nothing wrong with that, but if you are looking for a serious relationship then bikini pics are not always the way to go.
Display your interests
It’s always good to show people that you are more than just a hot babe. Put pictures up that display things you like to do. For example, I love to travel, so I had a picture riding a camel in Morocco. I also had a picture doing improv. It’s great to show your interests because it is a conversation starter.
Profile tips for Men:
Beware of mirror selfies
This is similar to “beware of the bikini” for women, but men, if you post a shirtless mirror selfie, then you must know that some people are just going to want to hookup. I, for one, never want to match with guys that have shirtless, mirror pics.
Some girls will always “swipe left" (say no) to things they see on men’s profiles. Here are some that I have heard of from friends: guys holding fish, holding guns, posing with a dead animal, posing with other girls, pics with expensive cars/watches/boats.
If you are a good singer or musician, then you should post a video showing off! I always loved seeing talented people. But, if singing or playing an instrument are not your strong suits, then opt-out of that option. If you don’t know if you are a good singer or musician, then ask an honest friend or err on the side of caution and don’t post a video. You can take that side of caution with a heaping portion of humor and humility.