September: Dates #4
BRITTANY'S DATE #4
Key Takeaways: The world, in fact, does not revolve around Dr. Strange.
Name: Dr. Strange or just plain ‘Strange.’ Not his real name, but “Doctor Strange” was my least favorite Marvel movie and this dude is a Resident Orthopedic Surgeon.
Length of date: 0 hrs & 0 mins & 0 secs
How the date was obtained: Hinge
Where: The outside of a bar in Downtown Sacramento and then my car driving home.
Alright, let me tell you something about Dr. Strange. He’s not generally my type, but he commented something witty on one of my prompts on Hinge and I had to come back with something wittier. What followed was a conversation that should be used in a TV Script for an Amy Sherman-Palladino series. Intelligence and witty banter turns me on… I can’t help it.
I knew Strange was busy AF. When he asked me out, he was going into a period of working 14 days straight. One day, he texted me at 2:00 PM to see if I was free that evening to go out for drinks. I don’t roll that way. I plan my hair-wash days around my dates, you see. So I told Strange that we should wait until after his 14-day work marathon when things were calmer and he was well-rested. I even agreed to meet him on his side of town (25 minutes from me), which I thought was a little selfish, but I figured he was just more familiar with the places around him. So we made a plan and confirmed it several times. Here’s how it went down:
3:59 PM - Dr. Strange texts me to change the location of our 5:00 PM date because our initial bar of choice was closing due to the poor air quality in Sacramento.
5:04 PM - I arrive at the bar and text Dr. Strange “are you here?”
5:13 PM - Dr. Strange texts “Nope, are you? I am on my way haha.. Sorry I lost track of time”
** several minutes pass of me being annoyed and sketched out because of weirdos downtown **
5:20 PM - Dr. Strange texts “Sorry i’m so late. My Uber took forever to pick me up. Drinks on me obviously”
** several more minutes pass of me being annoyed and sketched out because of weirdos downtown **
5:32 PM - I text Dr. Strange “Sorry, 30 minutes late isn’t super impressive. Please enjoy your night, but i’m going to go home” and start to drive home.
5:34 PM - Dr. Strange texts “I slept through my alarm. I’d rather you stay, it’s not that I forgot. But I get why you’re upset and don’t have a better explanation than that”
** I start to feel bad and consider turning around **
5:40 PM - Dr. Strange sends me a long @ss text, explaining his entire life story and that he chose to take a nap at 4:00 PM (1 hour before our date) because he didn’t want to be exhausted. Then he lied and said he “sat across from the bar and let [me] leave because as much as it’s shitty to be 30 minutes late to a date, it’s also important to be flexible when you’re dating someone insanely busy and understanding of human mistakes.” Then, he immediately deleted me on Hinge because my profile is probably just unbearable to look at after I failed his creepy little test.
** I did not respond. I bought some ice cream and drove to my grandma’s house. **
In conclusion, I am not that flexible or understanding of human mistakes. He should’ve used his Dr. Strange time-bending powers to go back and fix things.
The future for us… Perhaps he’ll perform an ACL Reconstructive surgery on me someday.
Next Week: A date with a man I met in line at the DMV!
CORNELIUS'S DATE #4
Key Takeaways: Honesty is the best policy
Name: Grace (cause she gave me grace after bumping into her car)
Length of date: Two and a half hours
How the date was obtained: I accidentally bumped into her car
Where: A restaurant along a river called "Brothers"
In my humble opinion, there’s no better way to intensify a friendship than hitting that friend's car. So, knowing this, I intentionally bumped Grace's vehicle as I was pulling out of a gathering we were both at. That was my calculated way of sliding into her DM’s because there's no question more intimate than, “Do you need my insurance information?”
Fortunately, she didn’t need my insurance information. I offered to pay for damages, but she said it was fine. So Grace-ious. There was a little dent, but with one of those suction cup things (if someone knows the technical term for that please let me know), it came right out. Instead, she requested that I take her out dinner.
Okay, real talk: I didn’t intentionally bump into her car to trigger this sequence of events. It was a big-time accident on my part, and I felt really bad. But, didn't it make the story 100X better? Regardless, I wanted to show her a grand ole time because, well, it was the least I could do.
And, you know what, it was a grand old time. We had dinner, then walked around the city, getting more acquainted with each other. The vibes were good and she’s a great person. But unfortunately, I just didn’t feel a spark with her.
⭐️⭐️⭐️.5 for the date
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ for her as a human being
The future for us: The day after the date she texted me saying she had a great time and she’d love to do it again. I responded with an open-ended, “Yeah me too. I’ll let you know :)”
I know now that I should have told her right away how I was feeling. But dang, those texts are never fun. In fact, they're downright soul-crushing. So, it wasn't until a few days later where I came clean.
I told her that she was an awesome person, but I’d prefer just going on as friends from here and she was disappointed but super cool about it. I was flattered that it seemed like she liked me, but I guess the fire just wasn’t there.
Next Week: a surprise!