November Dates #4

First, it's me (Isabel) and I just have to say a MASSIVE thank you to Jess for doing Date-a-Week for November and Ryan for doing Date-a-Week for November AND October. You're both brave, hilarious, generous, and kind. And whether you've already met your "person" or you are still on the look-out, I'm forever grateful that Date-a-Week was apart of your journey (and I hope you are too). You're the best!

Okay, I'm done now! Here are Jess and Ryan's final dates!

Jess's Final Date

Key Takeaways: Sometimes your date actually is a murderer.

Vitals:

Name: Damon, as in the guy from Vampire Diaries who has murderous tendencies yet you still kind of like him

Length of date: 2 hours

How the date was obtained: Bumble

Where: Mendocino Farms in Brentwood

The beginning of my Bumble conversation with Damon was fun, but I thought it was ultimately going nowhere. I knew he had a good sense of humor since we joked about ditching society, building a tiny home together, and living in the wilderness. Yes, there was some degree of chemistry, but without any sense of real communication, I didn’t see it going anywhere. I stopped responding. A few days later he reached out again! This time we talked about ourselves, and he asked if I wanted to meet in person. Down! We decided on Mendocino Farms in Brentwood. By the time I was already on my way, he told me he was going to be late. I waited for him outside the restaurant, and honestly that’s the worst. That’s when the anxiety builds. My brain started overthinking. Will it be awkward? Do we hug? Do I even know what he looks like? People taking off masks during COVID is like opening a gift in front of the person who bought it for you – will you like what you got? Or will you have to try very hard not to look horrified? In the midst of me looking like I’m trying to mentally solve augmented matrices, I get a message saying “Just parked! Blue sweater.” Eventually I found the blue-sweatered man, and whoa. His green eyes had me hypnotized in a sea of emeralds. After ordering, we walked outside and picked a table close to the heaters. Then, the masks finally came off, and let me tell you... I was no longer swimming in the sea of emeralds. Oh well! Can’t be attracted to them all. I quickly learned that a salad is not a cute date food at all. I’m 100% certain I looked like a ravenous gerbil. I also feel like Isabel has mentioned this before, and I did not take her advice. I had the salad. It was not cute. The best part of my conversation with Damon was when he expressly declared that I should not be worried about him being a murderer. He assured me he is way too lazy to kill me. He is also a trained military man but the “doctor kind.” If he didn’t like someone, he let them die. Cool cool. He was a chill guy with a great sense of humor and with ideas very different from my own. We had a good conversation, and it was nice talking to someone with differing opinions. However, I knew there was no future for us. I did ask him if he had ever killed anyone before, and he did not give a straight answer. Awesome. When I noticed the restaurant starting to close, I got up and used it as my excuse to leave. He asked if I wanted to get dessert or go anywhere else, but I lied and said I had a movie night with my roommates. It was an incredibly bad lie. I gave too many details and fumbled on all my words. Sorry, Damon. You weren’t the one, and I’m sure you knew it too.

Overall Experience:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The future for us… There will be none.

Next Week: This was my last blog post! If you were curious though, I am still seeing John from Date 3. He's pretty great.

Ryan's Final Date

Key Takeaways: Always shoot your shot

Vitals:

Name: Meg, after Meg Ryan

Length of date: 45 minutes

How the date was obtained: Destiny

Where: Road Runner Sports, Santa Monica (my new place of work)

You know those cheesy rom-coms where the two leads somehow meet through a weird twist of fate? Sometimes a radio talk show brings two people together atop the Eiffel Tower. Sometimes an online romance arises between two unknowing business rivals. Sometimes two people fall in love on their way to a South Pacific volcano. For some reason, all of those movies star Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan - but so far, my dates had been much more "Saving Private Ryan" than "Sleepless in Seattle". How would destiny finally bring me my Meg Ryan? The last place I expected destiny to strike was Road Runner Sports, where I was recently hired as a "Fit Expert", which is fancy lingo for "shoe salesman" (if you're curious to see who the real Ryan is, feel free to stop by, I'm the only white dude that works there). Mostly, it's just old ladies and grandpas who come in, looking for custom insoles to help them walk to their local grocery store. So, there I was, waiting for someone's granny to tell me about their sore knee, when an absolute baddie - my Meg Ryan - walked in. She checked off every single extensive quality that makes a girl my type: blonde, blonde, and blonde. This was not my typical Road Runner customer. But me, being the professional Fit Expert, kept things all business at first with some straightforward questions about Meg's running goals and experience (she used to be a collegiate runner, we love a fit queen). But it was Meg, not I, who took the conversation further, asking me about myself, and, eventually, what I studied in college. "Business with a minor in Film!" I responded. Her jaw dropped - her too! Suddenly, it was game on, and the running shoes were an afterthought for us both. I learned that Meg is obsessed with Quentin Tarantino (just like me), is looking for a career in film (just like me), and loves thrillers (just like me). I learned that she's from the Lake Tahoe area, which is one of my favorite places in the world. Her two favorite movies are "Fargo" and "Fatal Attraction" - impressively niche but also classic. As the conversation went on and on, I felt my body getting tenser and tenser, and my mouth getting drier and drier. What was this? I hadn't experienced this in years - I was nervous around a girl. She was too hot, too knowledgeable about film, too blonde. I just knew I was going to botch this somehow. I looked down in horror, and sure enough, I had overheated her custom insoles into a burnt crisp. "No worries, I'm in no rush :)," Meg giggled. I struggled to regain my composure, knocking over a shoebox in the process, which caused her to giggle more. "No way is she THIS perfect," I thought to myself. "I need to give her a test of some sort." It was then that "The Power of Love" by Huey Lewis & The News came onto the Road Runner loudspeaker, and I knew the perfect way to flirtingly test her. I slowly led Meg to the cash register, then flashed her my most Tom Hanks-Esque smile and asked, "Can you name the movie this song's from?" Here was the moment of truth - was she truly my Meg Ryan? A moment's pause, then Meg's response: "Back to the Future". My heart stopped. She was right. If I had had a ring in my pocket, I might've dropped to a knee and proposed right there in front of my coworkers. But alas, I had no engagement ring, and it was time for her to pay for her shoes and insoles, which meant my window to get her number was closing. "Ok, you've got this," I thought as I walked her to the door to let her out of the store. I should say somethign smooth like, "1v1 in Spin the Bottle?" Wait, no you idiot, too much. Just say you'd love to take her out someti --". "Anyways, nice meeting you!" she giggled as she walked out of the store, and out of my life. I had blown it. I was no Tom Hanks. I was just a sad, sad Caucasian boy who sold shoes to grandmas. Dejected, I walked back to the cash register. "Did you see that girl?" I asked my manager in awe. "Who, the one with the fat ass?" he asked. I hadn't even noticed - I was too focused on the personality. But alas, Meg was gone, and I would be forever alone. {dramatic pause} Just kidding. You didn't think I'd give up that easily, did you? Sometimes, the D in DM stands for destiny. Back in college, I was a DM master, deeply fluent in the intricate art of sliding into a woman's private inbox. But I was admittedly rusty. Could I come out of retirement and execute in the clutch, to send perhaps the most important DM of my career? I had her first and last name from her Road Runner Sports membership, so I sat down, pulled up Instagram on my phone, and got to searching as my coworkers cheered me on. In a matter of minutes, I had found her. But now was the hard part, crafting a classy yet intimate, a funny yet straightforward DM. After about an hour of deliberating and drafting, I sent this at 7:27pm: "Hey! It was great talking film with you in the store today. After messing up your insoles I realized I also messed up the opportunity to get your number {laughing emoji}". And then, I waited. And waited. And waited. It was about 9pm when I started to lose confidence. It was about 9:30pm when I told my roommate that if Meg didn't respond, I was going to take a walk to the nearest beach and bury my head in the sand. It was about 10pm when I got desperate and rented the movie "Fatal Attraction" on Amazon Prime in an effort to telepathically tempt Meg to respond. At 12:15am, with 6 minutes left in the film, I had officially lost all hope. How stupid of me to think she actually reciprocated my feelings. She was simply being nice to a weird retail worker. How had I actually believed I had a cha -- At 12:17am, 4 hours and 50 minutes after my introduction, Meg responded: "Hey, it was nice meeting you too! Lol it's {her number} :)". I HAD DONE IT. Cue dramatic rom-com music. I pumped my fist and started running laps around my room. I felt like a god. I felt like Stephen Curry in the 4th quarter. I was the epitome of swag. It felt like the happy ending to a Tom Hanks rom-com, but the story seems to be just starting (Meg and I happen to be Snapchatting right now as I write this blog, and we plan on going out once she's back in town post-Thanksgiving). So, to whoever's reading this, I encourage you to send that risky DM to your potential Meg Ryan. Life's too short to do otherwise. It may take 4 hours and 50 minutes, but it just may be a success.

Overall Experience:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The future for us… Maybe we'll meet on top of the Eiffel Tower.

Next Week: This is my final Date-a-Week blog post! Thanks for sticking with me, readers.

It's me (Isabel) again! Thank you again, Jess and Ryan! We are so proud to have you in the Date-a-Week family. Coming up next week are LA's two newest, eligible daters! I can't wait for you to meet them! Subscribe to be the first to know about their dates!