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April Date #3

Chris's Date #3

Key Takeaways: Two rights don't make enough of a wrong


Name: Bashful because he was a cutie with a beard that he couldn't stop hiding behind

Length of date: About an hour

How the date was obtained: Friend set-up

Where: Gala Thai

One of the best dates I’ve been on was with a crush I had in college. We were so incompatible, it was laughable. I had traits that reminded her of her exes and she had traits that reminded me of mine. Once it became clear that effort in each other was futile, the date quickly turned into a venting session. We hit it off talking about why we rubbed each other the wrong way, taking turns becoming punching bags to unload lingering frustrations with the behavior of past partners. This continues to be our relationship. When a romantic pursuit disappoints, we call each other because we tend to have an idea of where the other person is coming from and we’re not afraid to take that person’s side and hash it out. While these Fight Club: Date Edition calls have become less frequent as we’ve gotten better at not repeating our mistakes, at some point we realized that we were probably dating people perfect for each other this whole time. Now we play matchmaker. I have a mental rolodex of people who annoyed me that I would set-up with Hermione (this name because she’s a know-it-all), and vice versa. I tell the story of my date and subsequent relationship with Hermione in hopes that the eventfulness compensates for the very muted date she set up for me. “Bashful likes to be sad about things, you’ll love him.” That was meant to be a roast text, but ‘likes to be sad about things’ is not a bad selling point for me. Hermione knows this, that’s why she chose Bashful when I asked if she could set me up with someone. The pitch and picture of him at the beach made it an easy yes. I chose Gala Thai with the optimistic intention to get along with Bashful, extend the date, and enjoy a stroll around City Walk nearby. The stroll happened, but not with Bashful. Not only did I initiate every conversation, I also found myself performing CPR on them, trying to keep them alive before he smothered them under the heavy thud of another one word answer.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s a sweet guy. I don’t think it was a lack of interest in me that motivated the onslaught of silence on his part (a text expressing regret for not making a move helps prove that), I just think it’s a lack of interest to speak. Bashful is into sad things. Those one word answers confirmed we have similar tastes, but I don’t think he likes to be sad about things. He’s observant. He likes to shut up and let the world unfold. I’m the same, which is why I felt so uncomfortable initiating the conversations. I like to be more passive in romantic situations, especially ones with men. It’s a chance for me to get swept up off my feet. I’m working on a joke that expresses that sentiment right now actually. There’s no more empowering feeling I have felt as a man than being a damsel in distress rescued from danger by another man. I think Bashful is looking for the same experience. We’re two quiet boys waiting for someone to take the lead. I liked him. I made the quiet sound awful, it really wasn’t, but I’ve been with enough Bashfuls to know that two passives wind up static. That static is pleasant, but the lack of friction leaves it uninteresting. We’d never debate or argue. We’d never have something to work out. We’d never be a couple. I didn’t kiss him. My mouth was already exhausted from all the CPR. We ate and went our separate ways. I think he said he went home. I went to City Walk and wandered, letting the world take the lead for a few hours.

Overall Experience:


The future for us… Maybe a few more text exchanges, but probably not another date.

Next Week: No idea yet.


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