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  • Ryan and Jess

November Dates #3


Key Takeaways: It definitely can be even more awkward than you’d expect.


Name: John because he literally recapped the entirety of Dear John for me on this date.

Length of date: 5 hours

How the date was obtained: Hinge

Where: Bon Bon (but the Chatsworth location unlike my first date)

First off, John is the kind of guy to patiently wait for me out in the cold as I was 30 MINUTES LATE, while he was 5 MINUTES EARLY. In full transparency, I had pretty high hopes for this date because I liked how we communicated via text. It was flirty and fun with a side of authenticity and depth.

When I finally walked up to him at my favorite boba shop, Bon Bon, I was so excited to have this long-awaited embrace. Yeah no, that’s not what happened. He was awkward; then, I got awkward. We had a weird chit chat, where it just felt uncomfortable. *begins to panic internally* Since COVID didn’t allow seating, we had to go to a park after we got our drinks. I assumed he’d drive us, but no. He said a quick, “I’ll text you the address!” and skedaddled off. What.

*me in my car driving to the park* I panic called my roommates about how unexpectedly awkward and tense it was. I was raging on pure anxiety and ranting about the whole situation. They said they’d call me in 20 minutes to bow me out if needed! What homies! When I parked, I was filled with dread. This sucks.

*at the park* Being a generally kind man and a good planner, John brought a blanket to sit on, two extra blankets for warmth, and his hoodie just in case. Maybe it will be alright? When we finally got to sit and start talking, all my anxiety subsided. It WAS exactly as I anticipated. We got along so well and matched energies.

We had atypical first date conversations, delving into dicey topics like politics and religion. Somehow we were on the same page about everything so far (except pineapple on pizza. Ugh I guess I have to overlook this minor setback). Am I actually considering this man? Our first five minutes threw me off, but I think first date nerves were finally out of the way.

I was so comfortable. It was effortless.

I definitely forgot I left my roommates with a bad impression of him. When I finally checked my phone at 11pm, I saw 23 missed calls and text messages. Oops. They thought maybe I had been murdered or kidnapped or worse.... If I had checked my phone not two minutes later, my friend, who lived nearby, was about to head my way and check if I was alive.

If he had arrived, what a sight he would have seen! Me - lying on my side, curled up in a warm blanket. John – hand on my knee. Saucy, I know. He did ask permission by the way. What a gentleman!

At some point soon after, I got up and said something along the lines of “I’m cold and tired, and I want to go home now.” We quickly got up, and together we folded all the blankets. He walked me to my car like a true gentleman. We hugged and parted ways. I left feeling pleasantly surprised and a little hopeful.

Overall Experience:


The future for us… We may have already been on dates 1.5, 2, 3, and 4… Wish me luck?

Next Week: Another Bumble date!


Key Takeaways: I'm bad at blind dates


Name: Tony Hawk, because of her love of skateboarding

Length of date: 2.5 hours

How the date was obtained: Blind date through a friend

Where: Hugo's Restaurant, West Hollywood

Thanksgiving is a beautiful holiday to gather with loved ones and reflect on everything we have to be grateful for. It also means that every attractive bachelorette will be out of town the week preceding it, making it incredibly difficult to write a blog about dating. I am not exaggerating when I say I was turned down by eight Hinge matches, including last week's Mary, because of their Thanksgiving travels. Were they all truly unavailable, or am I even uglier than I thought? As Kanye West once said, "I guess we'll never know."

Luckily, a true friend excitedly offered to set me up with someone, and before I knew it, I was driving to meet my first ever blind date. Now, I'll admit I did peruse Tony's Instagram beforehand - in part to get a sense for who she was, and in part to make sure that she wasn't going to chloroform me and toss me in her trunk. To my delight, my Instagram investigation had revealed she was cute, my type, seemingly very funny, and an avid skateboarder.

Unfortunately, the date did not get off to the best start - through no fault of Tony's. First off, the meeting location I had chosen for dinner had no dine-in options (as had been reported online), so I was still scrambling to find another dinner spot online when Tony arrived. I usually take pride in following the Boy Scout motto of "Be Prepared," and this was not the first impression I had hoped to make. How did I attempt to save face? By giving Tony perhaps the worst hug known to mankind, a hug that felt like two cadavers were being pushed together in a mass grave. "Wow, great start, Ryan," I thought to myself. "She's probably going to go write a 1-star blog about you now."

Tony quickly saved me from my sinking pit of despair, however, and found us a new dinner spot (Hugo's) only 10 minutes away. When we did finally settle into our seats, conversation flowed smoothly, and my initial embarrassment subsided. We discussed our career goals, hobbies, and what we've done for fun during quarantine, and I was impressed by how smart and confident Tony was. Since we hadn't talked to each other at all before (as I was accustomed to with Hinge dates), we had lots to discuss in order to better understand who each person was. While this was beneficial in terms of keeping our conversation busy, I also found it made a true connection difficult, since we were so caught up in learning more about each other, as if working through a checklist. I also definitely wasn't on my A-game as a date partner, as I found myself behaving differently since I knew she and I had a mutual friend. By the end of the date, I found myself admiring Tony as a person, and wanting to be her friend, but unfortunately not feeling a romantic spark between us. I could tell she felt the same way, as we shared one more ice-cold hug after I walked her to her car.

Overall, the date was a good learning experience - I think everyone puts on a semi-fake and shiny "first date" face when they meet someone for the first time, and for me, that comes a lot easier when I have the luxury of getting to know them and their personality over the phone beforehand. Also, I need to work on my hugs.

Overall Experience:


The future for us… A friendship without hugging

Next Week: Hopefully one of my eight Hinge prospects comes back to LA in time for me to write a blog


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